


The Long and Winding Road companion series

by MissHalieW



Series: The Long and Winding Road series [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2018-12-03 14:25:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHalieW/pseuds/MissHalieW
Summary: This won't make sense without reading The Long and Winding Road's main story.Note: I reorganized the chapters to be in the order they take place, hopefully this is less confusing.





	1. first day at Starling Prep

**Author's Note:**

> This can't even be classified as "chapters" but rather just short scenes. But I already wrote them and they don't fit in the main story, so I'm gonna post them here.

I took a deep breath, stepping into the quad with my lunch in hand. So far, my first day at Starling Prep had involved my home room teacher forcing me to stand up and introduce myself, which led to an embarrassing ramble, then I had encountered a group of the typical mean girls. The icing on the cake was literally bumping into an attractive senior guy in the cafeteria, who basically just snapped ‘watch out, new girl’ before joining his laughing friends. After that, I could feel everybody in the cafeteria watching me, which is what led me to the quad. It wasn't nearly as packed as the cafeteria, a few clusters of students sitting around. It wasn't hard to identify the cliched clicks; the stoners, the band kids, and most obviously, the jocks. They were hard to miss, laughing and tossing a football around, while the girls sat and watched.

I snapped out of my thoughts as a football flew right past me, landing near my feet. One of the jocks rushed towards me, a smile on his face. 

“Sorry,” He bent down the pick up the ball, “You’re the new girl, right?” 

“Felicity.” I introduced myself; I took a closer look at the boy in front of me, he wasn't tall, but he still towered over me. His blue eyes looked amused. 

“Tommy.” He glanced back at his group of friends, “You can come hang out with us.” 

I looked at his friends, who were watching us like he had encountered a wild animal. 

“I don't think I’d quite fit in with your crowd, but thanks anyways.” I laughed

“Suit yourself.” Tommy shrugged

I found a shady spot under a tree, sitting down by myself. I watched as the boy I had bumped into in the cafeteria joined the jocks, dropping down to sit next to a pretty blonde, kissing her. 

I ate in silence, watching the people around me. I could already tell I wasn't going to fit in at this school. 

 

My first week at Starling Prep went about the same as the first day. I kept my head down, kept to myself, sat alone in the same spot every day for lunch; Tommy said hello every day, and that was pretty much the only socialization I did. 

My second Monday, I was sitting by myself, enjoying my lunch, when a blonde stepped in front of me.

“Hey new girl.” She smiled

“Felicity.” I stated

“Well, Felicity, I’m Sara. Why are you sitting alone every day?” Sara asked 

“Um, I don't know anyone here?” I replied

“And you’re not going to if you don't try.” Sara replied

“I don't exactly fit in here.” I admitted

“What, because you’re not rich? Neither am I. Neither is my sister, and she’s sitting over there with the popular kids.” Sara pointed at brunette sitting on a blanket with the rest of the cheerleaders, “Look, there’s exactly six scholarship kids at this school. Me, my sister, you, and and three other kids you'll usually find eating lunch in the lab. Come sit with me.” 

I shrugged and stood up. I followed Sara to a table. 

I quickly discovered that, like her older sister, Sara was also a cheerleader.

“If you're a cheerleader, why don't you sit with the rest of them?” I asked 

“I just can't deal with them. The conversations are always so damn shallow, and borderline mind numbing. Honestly, my sister is ridiculously smart, but when she’s around them, it’s all about her hair and nails or how hot Oliver is.” Sara rolled her eyes 

“Oliver, he’s the one that’s always with Tommy, right?” I asked, glancing over at Tommy and the guy I had ran into on my first day.

“Yeah. Laurel and Oliver and Tommy, they’ve all know each other forever. Oliver and Tommy basically run the school. I’m pretty sure that's the only reason me and Laurel aren't treated like scholarship kids. Our first day here Tommy threw a guy into a locker for making some comment to Laurel about being scholarship kid. Nobody has really crossed us since.” Sara explained 

“I would have expected Tommy Merlyn to be amongst the worst of them. Isn't he the sole heir to Merlyn Global and the Merlyn fortune?” I asked 

“Tommy’s not...he’s had a rough life. His mom was killed and his dad basically disappeared for years, and he’s still not really around. So he doesn't really care so much about money as much as he cares about having good people around him.” Sara explained 

“I had no idea.” I mumbled

“He’s a good guy. Oliver isn't as bad as he seems either.” Sara stated

“Really? I’ve seen him making out with four different girls in a week.” I rolled my eyes. 

“He’s a slut, that’s true.” Sara laughed, “But he’s not all bad. Oliver and Tommy both like to party and chase girls, that’s undeniable.” 

“I've heard.” I had overheard people in the hallways talking about the party Oliver had thrown over the weekend, it was, according to one of the cheerleaders, ‘epically awesome’.

“Tommy’s having a party tonight. You should come.” Sara suggested

“It’s a Monday.” I remarked 

“Oh, you’ll quickly discover nobody here cares.” Sara laughed

“I don't really want to show up at a party I wasn't technically invited to.” I shrugged

“Nobody’s invited, word is just spread and you show up,” Sara laughed, “but if you're worried about it, we can ask him. Merlyn!” 

She had already shouted for him before I could object; Tommy tossed the football to Oliver before making his way over to our table, wrapping his arms around Sara’s shoulders from behind her.

“You called?” Tommy laughed

“I was telling my new friend, Felicity, about your party. She said she didn't want to come because she wasn't invited.” Sara explained

“You should totally come. You’re absolutely invited. It’s going to be awesome.” Tommy exclaimed 

“So are you in?” Sara asked

“I guess so.” I replied

“Awesome, I'll see you ladies later.” Tommy leaned down, kissing Sara’s cheek before he rejoined his friends. I immediately regretted my decision to agree to go. A party full of rich kids? I thought of the million ways it could go bad. 

 

The party had already been full swing by the time we arrived; the house was filled with dancing people that we had to pushed our way through to reach the backyard. I had immediately taken a seat while Sara had sought out drinks. 

“Here you go.” Sara appeared in front of me, offering me a red solo cup.

“What's in this?” I asked 

“Punch. And vodka.” Sara laughed

I shrugged, taking a sip as Sara sat down on the lounge chair next to me. 

“Sara! Come in!” Tommy shouted from the pool. 

Sara shook her head. 

“Are you and Tommy, like, a thing?” I asked 

“No, definitely not,” Sara laughed, “He’s more like a brother. Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s into Laurel. Not that she’d notice.” 

“Seems like she’s too busy watching Oliver.” I remarked, spotting Laurel in the hot tub, watching Oliver make out with yet another blonde. Five in a week. 

“Yeah. Typical high school drama, I suppose.” Sara shrugged

“I suppose so.” I agreed

A few minutes later, Sara left me alone to go dance with a guy that introduced himself as Ryan. I finished my drink and set off to find another. It didn't take long to find the table with refreshments, mostly alcohol. I eyed the expensive tequila bottle before grabbing a shot glass, filling it up. 

“Having fun yet?” Tommy asked as he came up to the table, still wet from the pool. 

“Um, ask me again after this has time to kick in.” I held up the now empty shot glass. 

Two shots later, Sara grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the pool. 

“Sara, we didn't bring swimsuits.” I laughed 

“So?” Sara pulled her purple dress over her head, revealing matching red bra and underwear.

“Yeah, I’m good, thanks.” I shook my head; that was not happening.

“Come on, Sara. She’s obviously too much of a goody-two shoes for that.” Oliver laughed

“Excuse me?” I snapped

“Ignore him, Felicity.” Tommy laughed, shoving Oliver. 

“God knows it’s what the rest of us do.” Sara’s sister, Laurel, chimed in with a laugh.

“I don’t give much thought to cavemen and their opinions.” I snapped in Oliver’s direction. 

I rolled my eyes, making my way towards the house, until I rammed straight until something, or rather, somebody, and nearly lost my balance. He grabbed my arm, keeping me upright. I immediately recognized him as one of the guys that ran with Tommy and Oliver’s group.

“Woah there, you alright?” He laughed

“Other than the fact I keep running into cute seniors and nearly wiping out, great.” I nearly smacked myself, “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.” 

He laughed, and I shook myself free of the grasp he hadn’t let go of on my arm. 

“I’m Carter, by the way. Felicity, right?” He asked

“Yeah, that’s me.” I replied 

“Can I get you a drink?” Carter asked 

“Sure.” I shrugged 

Carter put his hand on my back, leading me into the house and into the kitchen, where even more alcohol than what had been outside was spread across the counter. 

“What’s your poison?” Carter asked with a laugh

“I don’t really have a preference.” I knew plenty about alcohol, my mother was a cocktail waitress in Vegas, after all. My experience in alcohol was limited to stealing sips of wine at family gatherings, and one unpleasant night of drinking cheap booze with my friends before I left Vegas. 

“I’ll mix something up.” Carter stated

I nodded, grabbing my phone out of my bag to check my messages.

_ How was school?  _ My mother had asked the same question every day.

_ It was fine. I’m studying with a new friend, so I probably won’t call before bed. I’ll call you in the morning. _ I didn’t really need to lie, my mother would probably be thrilled to know I was out socializing. 

“Here you go. Rum and Coke, can’t go wrong with the classics.” Carter handed me the glass as I slipped my phone back into my purse. 

I mumbled out a thanks, taking a sip; it tasted like it was mostly rum, and I resisted the urge to make a face at the taste. 

“You don’t drink much, do you?” Carter asked

“I don’t.” I admitted with a chuckle.

I basically forced myself to just chug the drink down, then sat the cup on the counter. 

“Let’s dance.” I suggested

Carter grinned, setting his glass on counter. 

“Lead the way.” Carter stated

We made our way out on to the deck, which had been turned into a makeshift dance floor. The music blasting was typical club music, which I usually detested, but as the alcohol started to take effect, I lost myself to the beat. 

We danced for a few songs before he started getting a little too handsy. I gently pushed his hands away but he didn’t take the hint, his hands finding their way to my ass.

“Let’s go upstairs.” Carter mumbled 

I tried to shove him away, but his grip just got tighter.

“Let go of me, you creepy bastard.” I demanded 

I stomped my foot down onto his, sending him stumbling backwards in pain. 

“You bitch.” Carter snapped

“Go fuck yourself, because I sure as hell won’t be.” I snapped

“Carter, get the hell out of out of here.” Tommy seemed to appear out of nowhere, shoving him.

“Dude, what the hell?” Carter asked 

“Get out.” Tommy shouted

Laurel appeared at my side, wrapping an arm around me.

“Are you okay?” Laurel asked

“I’m fine.” I replied 

“She’s crazy, we were just dancing.” Carter exclaimed 

“Go to hell, dude.” I bit out as Laurel led me away. 

Sara saw us approaching the pool, her expression shifting from laughing at something Oliver said to concern.

“What happened?” Sara asked

“Overly eager asshole. I’m fine.” I shrugged

“Carter is an asshole.” Laurel agreed

“That’s true. Even I think so.” Oliver laughed

“Felicity Smoak, you are a surprise. You call Oliver out on his bullshit and told Carter Bowmen to go fuck himself, all in one night.” Tommy exclaimed 

“I like her.” Laurel laughed

“You are officially one of us.” Tommy announced 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think, and feel free to hit me up on atiredfangirl.tumblr.com, let me know what you think or just say hi, whatever :)


	2. maybe Oliver is actually not a bad guy

“Hey Smoak.” Oliver greeted as I walked in the kitchen of the Merlyn manor, tossing my backpack down. 

“Queen.” I replied, “Where’s Tommy?” 

“He’s in bed. I mean, he’s definitely not asleep and he’s not alone, but he’s still in bed.” Oliver remarked

I rolled my eyes, grabbing a soda. 

“Shouldn't you be in some Economics class at Brown right now?” I asked

“I was politely asked to leave Brown.” Oliver replied

I shook my head.  _ Getting kicked out of two Ivy League schools in less than a year must be some kind of record. _

“What’d you do?” I asked

“It was a misunderstanding.” Oliver shrugged

“Queen. You don't kicked out of university for something minor.” I laughed

“It was more of a series of events.” Oliver admitted as he leaned across the counter, stealing my soda from my hand. 

“Asshole.” I mumbled, “You could have just asked me to hand you one.” 

“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” Oliver laughed, “Showed up drunk to class, strike one. Missed a midterm because I was sitting in a jail cell for drunken disorderly, strike two.” 

“Three strikes, you’re out. What was the final strike?” I asked

“Apparently, sleeping with a professor is frowned upon.” Oliver shrugged

“Oliver! She was probably fired! You got somebody fired for a few hours of fun?”  _ Unreal _ . 

“First off, it was more like a weekend of fun. Secondly, I didn't pursue her; she came up to me at a bar and she kissed me first.” Oliver remarked 

“You're the worst.” I exclaimed 

“Tommy's upstairs with not one, but two models in his bed, but I’m the worst?” Oliver laughed

“Well, besides knocking them up, which we both know Tommy is so careful about it’s borderline paranoia, I don't think he could ruin their careers as models.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Whatever,” Oliver stood up, grabbing his jacket, “By my calculations, Malcolm’s plane landed half an hour ago, which means he’ll be walking in the front door within the next twenty minutes, so I’m out. You have two choices; stay, which will inevitably end up with either awkward small talk until Tommy decides to grace you with his presence, or Malcolm realizing Tommy decided to blow off his two PM class and goes off on a rampage, or you can come with me.” 

I sighed. 

“Where are you going?” I asked, wondering which would truly be the lesser of the two evil.

“To pick my baby sister up from school. After that, no idea. Wherever she wants.” Oliver shrugged

“Fine. Give me two minutes to change.” I glanced down at my school uniform.

I raced until the stairs, rushing into my room. I grabbed a pair of white shorts and a black tank top, changing as fast as I could. I took my hair out of it’s neat ponytail, letting it fall freely. I slipped in my black converses, touched up my lipstick, grabbed my camera, and bolted back down the stairs. 

“Let’s go.” I exclaimed 

 

Starling City Academy’s parking lot was filled with luxury cars, even limos. The pick up area was filled with young women, most of whom were undoubtedly nannies. Oliver approached a man standing next to an SUV. 

“Mr. Queen.” The man greeted him with a nod.

“Mr. Robbins. I'm here for my sister. You can go.” Oliver replied 

“I wasn't informed you would be taking Miss Queen today.” The man remarked

“Then you can call my mother and ask if it's okay. I think you'll find the answer is yes.” Oliver stated 

“Very well.” The man climbed in the SUV, driving off. 

“Your parents don't even know you're back, do they?” I asked

“No, they do not.” Oliver replied

“That's going to be a fun conversation.” I laughed 

The gates opened, a sea of kids rushing out. 

“Ollie!” Thea came rushing towards him, knocking into at full speed into a hug.

“Speedy!” Oliver scooped up the young girl, spinning her around. 

“What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at school?” Thea asked

“I came to spend the day with my sister, obviously.” Oliver replied

“And with Tommy's girlfriend?” Thea asked, turning her green eyes at me. 

“I’m not Tommy’s girlfriend.” I replied automatically, having said the same words more times in the past two years than I could ever count. 

“Felicity's going to tag along with us today. What did you want to do?” Oliver asked as he placed her back on the ground, grabbing her hand as we headed for his sports car. 

“Let’s go to the beach!” Thea exclaimed 

“Coast City?” Oliver replied 

“Yes!” Thea was practically bouncing. 

“Oliver, that's almost a three hour drive. It’ll be almost dark by the time we get there.” I commented

“Yes, but it's a ten minute drive to the private airport and a short thirty minutes from there to Coast City via private jet.” Oliver laughed

_ Right. Billionaire.  _

 

Twenty minutes later, we were sitting on the Queen’s private jet, ready for take off. 

“Can you please,” Oliver grabbed my knee, keeping it from bouncing, “stop?” 

“Sorry. I’m not a big fan of planes.” I admitted as the plane started moving. 

“Breathe, Felicity. It’s fine.” Oliver leaned across me, closing the window curtain. 

I glanced over at Thea, who had her headphones on, playing a game on her DS. 

“How’s school?” Oliver asked

“What? Fine.” I replied

“Got a boyfriend?” Oliver asked

“Why?” I retorted 

“I’m distracting you.” Oliver remarked

“Okay. No. I don't. Why does everybody think I’m Tommy’s girlfriend?” I asked

“Other than the fact you live with him and spend basically every second with him that you aren't in school, you mean? It’s probably got something to do with the fact he’s always got an arm around you when you’re together.” Oliver shrugged

“He does the same thing with Sara.” I remarked

“Yeah, but everybody knows there’s no way those two would happen.” Oliver laughed

“There’s no way Tommy and I would ever happen either.” I laughed

“You’re newer in our group, you’re still a wildcard. People will figure it out eventually.” Oliver shrugged

“It’s been two years already.” I stated 

“Tommy, Laurel and Sara, and me have been friends for most of our lives, and people still think I’m dating one of the Lance sisters.” Oliver laughed 

“Well, yeah, but neither of them are particularly great at hiding the fact they both would date you in a heartbeat. I know you know they both like you.” I remarked 

“I know.” Oliver shrugged 

“I always assumed you and Laurel would eventually hook up.” I admitted 

“Well, that's enough about me and the Lance sisters.” Oliver laughed 

“Okay then. Do you do this often? Just pick your sister up from school, hop on a private jet for a few hours of beach time?” I asked 

“Occasionally.  Not as much as I should. Usually when I use the family jet, it’s for a lot more selfish reasons.” Oliver laughed 

“Yes, I know. Lots of party weekends.” I rolled my eyes.

“Hey, it’s not always for parties.” Oliver replied 

“No, I suppose not. There’s always those trips to spend a few days rolling around in the sheets with whatever model you're dating. It’s so important to be in a beautiful city when you don't even leave the hotel room.” I remarked

“You don't have a very high opinion of me.” Oliver stated 

“Not true. I think underneath all the layers of douchebag is actually a fairly decent human being. I’ve seen it around Tommy and the Lance sisters. And obviously your sister thinks you walk on water, so I’m guessing she doesn't see the side of you the rest of the world does. She obviously doesn't know you as Ollie Queen, playboy extraordinaire.” I stated 

Oliver didn't reply, opting to look out the window.

“I wasn't trying to piss you off.” I sighed 

“You didn't.” Oliver replied 

“Really? Because you sure seem pissed. Even though I have no idea why.” I remarked 

We didn’t speak again until we were in the rental convertible, on our way to the beach. Thea had successfully filled the silence since a few minutes before we landed. 

“Ollie, we need to buy swimsuits.” We were driving down Main Street, the ocean in view, as Thea pointed at a little Shop near the boardwalk, “There. We’ll get some suits and snacks.” 

Oliver crossed two lanes rapidly, earning a honk from another driver, pulling into a parking spot next to the shop. I trailed behind Thea and Oliver, snapping pictures of the coastline with my old school camera; I had an expensive, new camera at home, but I opted to use my retro one nearly all the time. I eventually made my way into the little spotting, spotting Oliver with Thea on his shoulders, laughing at whatever his sister was saying. I quickly snapped a picture.

“Hey Felicity, which sunglasses? I like the red ones but Ollie says the black are cooler.” Thea remarked, holding up two pairs of glasses.

“Definitely the red.” I replied as I joined them at the rack of sunglasses.  I grinned as I spotted the heart shaped glasses, grabbing them to try on. 

"What do you think?" I laughed 

"It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight." Oliver grinned 

"Did you just quote Lolita? You actually read Lolita?" I asked 

"Twice." Thea chimed in

"I do occasionally read a book." Oliver remarked 

"You failed English Lit. Twice." I stated 

"Because he didn't try." Thea rolled her eyes, "He's not the idiot he pretends to be.” 

Oliver ignored his sister entirely, grabbing a black fedora off one of the stands, placing it on my head. 

"There, ready for the beach." Oliver motioned for my camera, “Give me the camera.” 

I handed it over, sticking my tongue out as he snapped away.

“Oh, look, there’s the swimsuits.” Thea pointed to a rack of undoubtedly overpriced swimsuits. 

 

After half an hour of Thea trying on swimsuits, we finally reached the beach. I made myself comfortable on one of the beach towels, sitting down to people watch. It wasn't long before people watching turned into watching Oliver, although I was aware enough of the other people on the beach to notice them watching Oliver too. People usually did; whether it was women checking him out or people waiting to see what trouble Oliver Queen would get into next, there was always  _ somebody  _ watching Oliver. 

I wasn't oblivious to the fact Oliver was attractive, especially while shirtless, and I was certainly guilty of watching in amusement while Oliver and Tommy landed themselves in trouble, but neither of those were why I was watching Oliver chasing his sister around in the water; I was trying to reconcile the fact that the man playing with his baby sister and the man that I had just watch get arrested a few weekends before for peeing on a cop car and shouting ‘fuck the police’ was the same man. 

My phone tore me from my thoughts. I glanced at it before answering. 

“Hi Tommy.” I greeted 

“Hey Lis. Where the hell are you?” Tommy asked

“I’m with Oliver and Thea. In Coast City.” I replied

“Really?” Tommy didn't try to mask the surprise in voice.

“It was that or hang out with your dad, so...obviously Oliver's a better option.” I laughed

“You won't hear any argument from me.” Tommy replied

“Oliver is like a different person around her.” I remarked

“He is.” Tommy agreed

“Which raises the question of which one is the real Oliver and which is a show.” I stated

“I think the real Oliver is somewhere in the middle.” Tommy exclaimed

“Maybe.” I mumbled 

“Stop. Right now.” Tommy laughed 

“What?” I didn't understand what the hell Tommy was talking about. 

“I recognize the voice, the sudden ‘maybe Oliver is actually not a bad guy’, I’ve seen it all a hundred times. Stop it. It’s a slippery slope.” Tommy remarked

“You have got to be kidding me.” I laughed

“I can't take another lovesick girl over Oliver. I’ve already gotta deal with Laurel and Sara.” Tommy stated

“No worries there, Tommy.” I laughed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I basically just wrote this quickly. I was feeling stuck on the main story so I took a break and did this. So...yeah. anyways. Hope you enjoyed.


	3. a happy birthday

I woke up to something tickling my face. I swatted it away, but it didn't stop. I groaned, opening my eyes. 

I sat up in bed, taking in the sight in front of me; black and silver balloons everywhere, lining the entire ceiling. ‘17’ balloon on the wall.   _ How the hell did they do this while I was sleeping? _

“Tommy?” I called out in the hallway, even though he was supposed to be at school for another three days. I knocked on Tommy’s door. No response. I knocked on Oliver’s door. No response. 

Once I was downstairs, I followed the sound of the noise to the kitchen, halting in my tracks as I saw Oliver cooking. 

“Oliver, did you do all that with the balloons?” I asked, confused  _ and  _ surprised.

“Happy Birthday, Lis.” Oliver leaned over the counter, kissing my cheek. 

“Who are you and what have you done with my friend?” I asked 

“What, I can't do something nice? I missed your birthday last year.” Oliver shrugged 

“I’m pretty sure you were in jail.” I remarked

“Besides, Tommy can't make it until the weekend, Sara’s gone til the end of next week. So it's basically just you and me.” Oliver replied 

“Oh, please tell me you don't plan on anything outrageous. I still have school today and tomorrow.” I laughed

“Nothing outrageous.” Oliver motioned to the table, “Sit down, breakfast is ready.” 

“Since when do you cook?” I asked

“French toast is not rocket science.” Oliver replied 

My phone rang, Tommy’s picture flashing on the screen.

“Hi Tommy.” I answered

“Happy birthday!” Tommy sang

“Please don't sing.” I laughed

“I’m on my way to a final, I just wanted to be the first to wish you a happy birthday.” Tommy remarked

“Too late, buddy. Ollie beat you to it.” I stated

“Oliver already called? I figured he’d be sleeping off a hangover from celebrating the end of finals.” Tommy laughed

“He didn't call. He’s in your kitchen making me a birthday breakfast. And he filled my bedroom with balloons.” I replied

“Huh. Unexpected.” Tommy mumbled, “Anyways, gotta go. I’ll call you tonight.” 

“Good luck on your final.” I hung up as Oliver handed me a plate. 

“How’s Laurel? Is she back yet?” I asked

“You didn't hear? She got an internship in Gotham. Won't be back for another six weeks.” Oliver replied

“How are you two doing? It’s been, what, six months now? That’s the longest relationship I’ve seen from you.” I exclaimed 

“We’re fine.” Oliver shrugged 

“Don't be too enthusiastic there, Oliver.” I laughed

“What about you? Are you and that Cooper guy still a thing?” Oliver asked

“No. He broke up with me like...a month ago. Used the whole ‘it's not you, it's me’ line. Whatever.” I shrugged, “Considering he was making out with another girl four hours later, I guess what he actually meant was it wasn't  _ just  _ me.” 

“You know, I take pride in the fact I’ve never resorted to that bullshit line in a breakup.” Oliver laughed, “But he always seemed like a douchebag. You can do better.” 

“I know.” I laughed

“You better hurry up if you don't want to be late.” Oliver stated 

“Says the guy that didn't show up for home room nine out of ten days.” I teased

“Yes, but I wasn’t trying to get into MIT.” Oliver replied 

“I already got in.” I stated 

“Right, of course you did.” Oliver laughed

“But I should get ready.” I stood up, wrapping my arms around him in a hug, “Thanks so much for breakfast. And the balloons. It was very sweet.” I had to stand on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. 

“It was nothing.” Oliver shrugged

“It was sweet. You aren't always the asshole people think you are.” I laughed

“Go get ready for school, Smoak.” Oliver motioned me out of the kitchen. 

 

I sighed as soon as I stepped into the Merlyn Mansion; school had been long, and boring. I was very ready to curl up on my bed with a book.

“Oliver?” I called out 

When I received no response, I went into the kitchen, picking out a bottle of red wine, grabbing a wine glass on my way out of the room, beeling for my room. 

There were five presents on my bed, but I opted to change before tearing into them, anxious to get out of my uniform. 

Once I changed into more comfortable clothes, I popped open the bottle of wine, sitting down on the bed, ready to open my gifts. 

I pulled the card off the gold gift wrapped box;  _ Wishing you a birthday as unforgettable as I am. Love, the best best friend ever.  _ I rolled my eyes but still grinned. Tommy’s gift was a pair of diamond earrings that undoubtedly cost more than most people make in a month.

I opened my gifts from Laurel and Sara, a pair of sky high black heels from Sara and a black purse from Laurel. My mother bought me a simple silver necklace with a heart dangling from the chain. Her card sent glitter flying over my bed, much to my dismay. 

The last box on my bed was black, with a big silver bow. As soon as the envelope opened, two concert tickets fell out. I glanced at them quickly, squealing in excitement when I saw they were for my favorite band’s show that night. I hadn't managed to get tickets before they sold out. 

_ Be ready at six.  _

The card wasn't signed, but I knew the sloppy handwriting. I ignored the feeling in my stomach.  _ Nope. Don't go there, Smoak.  _ My phone rang as soon as I opened the box, a grinning Sara on my screen.

“Happy Birthday!” Sara shouted as soon as picked up.

“Thank you. And thanks for the shoes, they’re amazing.” I remarked

“You are certainly welcome. What are you doing tonight? I can't believe I’m not there for your birthday.” I could practically hear her pout as I grabbed the sequined black jacket out of the box. It was gorgeous.

“Oliver got tickets for the Destruction of Youth concert tonight! I’m so excited!” I almost squealed

“Oliver Queen is going to a punk rock show? Oh damn. I would pay to see that.” Sara laughed, “That was really sweet of him though.” 

“Yeah, he’s being super nice today,” I put the phone on speaker, standing up to try the jacket on, “I almost find it suspicious.” 

“Ollie can be a really nice guy when he wants to be.” Sara replied

“I know. It’s just usually reserved for Tommy, Laurel, or his sister. I know we’ve been a lot friendlier in the last year, but I’m still super surprised that he’d do all this for me.” I admitted

“Don't question it, just enjoy it. When Oliver goes all out, it’s guaranteed to be epic, so just have fun.” Sara laughed

“I will. I better start getting ready though.” I stated, glancing at the clock. 

“Take lots of pictures. Happy birthday again!” 

 

The doorbell rang at precisely six, surprising me; Oliver was never on time. I checked my appearance in the mirror; I was wearing all my birthday gifts, the jacket from Oliver, the shoes from Sara, the bag from Laurel, and the earrings from Tommy, with a black mini skirt and crop top. I had spent too much time on my makeup to do much with my hair other than throw it in a high pony, but it would have to do.

I rushed down the stairs as the doorbell rang, confused by why Oliver wouldn't use his key.

“Did you lose your key again?” I smirked as I pulled the door opened, “Oh. You look different.” 

Oliver’s wardrobe usually consisted of cashmere sweaters and slacks; to say it was surprising to see him in black skinny jeans, a white V neck tee, and a black leather jacket would be an understatement. 

“I figured I’d at least  _ try  _ to blend in.” Oliver laughed

“It’s...a good look for you.” I remarked

_ A really, really good look.  _

“Are you ready?” Oliver asked

“Absolutely. Let’s go.” I replied

I expected to see one of Oliver’s sports cars waiting, but instead there was a limo. 

“Seriously?” I asked

“I’m not driving, I’m absolutely going to be drinking.” Oliver shrugged, opening the door for us. 

I carefully climbed in the limo, a task made difficult by the tight skirt.

“Why are you doing all this for me?” I couldn't stop myself from asking as we sat in the back of the limo. 

“Because you’re my friend and it’s your birthday?” Oliver replied

“You are one of the most confusing people I have ever known, Oliver Queen. One minute you are an insufferable ass, then the next you’re a total sweetheart. I’m really beginning to think you have some kind of multiple personality disorder.” I laughed

“You’re a bit of an enigma yourself, Miss Smoak.” Oliver retorted

“Me? Are you sure you know what that word means? Because I’m not enigmatic at all.” I replied

“An enigma is a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand. You definitely are.” Oliver laughed

“I truly have no idea what you are talking about.” I was not mysterious in any way. 

“You are a living, breathing contradiction. You are a bookworm with perfect grades, yet party hard every weekend. You somehow manage to be a goody two shoes and a wild child. You dress in all black and listen to sad music all the time, yet you are one of the most cheerful, happy people I’ve ever met. I can never quite figure you out, which frustrates and amazes me.” Oliver remarked 

“I...never realized you were trying to figure me out.” I didn't know what else to say. 

Before I could say anything else, Oliver’s phone went off, which probably saved me from saying something embarrassing. I could tell right away it was Laurel that Oliver was talking to, and it sounded like a disagreement. 

“I told you earlier that I was taking Felicity out for her birthday...No, he’s still at school...I don't know, Laurel.” Oliver sighed, “I’m not in the mood to have a repeat of this discussion...I’ll call you tomorrow. Bye.” 

“Well, that sounded like a fight.” I remarked 

“No, that happened yesterday. That was irritating reminder of it, though.” Oliver replied 

“Do I even dare ask  _ what  _ you’re fighting about?” I asked

“It’s not important.” Oliver replied

“Okay then.” I leaned over to reach the mini fridge, spotting a champagne bottle.

“There are glasses right there.” Oliver pointed as I popped open the bottle. 

“I’m perfectly fine with passing the bottle back and forth if you are.” I laughed 

“Works for me.” Oliver replied

I took a drink and handled the bottle to Oliver.

“So even if I don't understand why, thanks for all this.” I stated

“Anytime.” 

 

“I’m gonna get a drink, want anything?” Oliver had to shout over the crowd, and the band wasn't even on stage yet. 

“Just a soda.” I was already feeling the champagne (and three shots of Tequila) from the limo ride. 

Oliver nodded, leaving me alone at the table in the VIP booth. I took the chance to admire the new merchandise Oliver had insisted on paying for; two new shirts, a poster, and a tote bag. 

By the time Oliver returned, the band had already taken the stage. 

“Dance with me!” I tried to grab his arm to lead him to the dance floor, but he didn't budge. 

“I don't dance.” Oliver stated 

“But it’s my birthday and I wanna dance.” I pouted; the pout usually worked on Tommy, but I hadn't expected it to work on Oliver. 

“Fine.” Oliver sighed 

I grinned, leading him towards the crowded floor. Oliver was good sport, staying on the dance floor with me for several songs. It wasn't until the band started a cover of a  _ Wonderwall  _ that Oliver pulled me closer to him, until my back was against his chest. 

“Finally, a song I actually know.” Oliver’s face was close enough that I could feel his stubble against my face as he spoke. It wasn't so much dancing as swaying but his arms around my waist still caused a certain feeling in the pit of my stomach. 

“I’m told we have a birthday girl in the crowd tonight,” The lead singer stated between songs, “And that this next song is her favorite, so tonight this last song goes out to her. Happy Birthday, Felicity.” 

I spun around in Oliver’s arm, throwing my arms around him in a hug. 

“Thank you.” I was sure he could hear me over the crowd but I felt his arms tighten around my waist. 

_ You’re my only weakness, my greatest downfall, and the only one I’ll never forget. _ I swayed along to my favorite song, singing along at the top of my lungs. 

 

The alcohol had worn off by the time we got back to the empty Merlyn mansion, but I was still a giggly mess, drunk on excitement. 

“Let’s go swimming!” I had barely dropped my stuff on the entryway table when I grabbed Oliver's hand, ready to drag him to the backyard. 

“You go ahead and change. I'm gonna order take out and I'll meet you out there.” Oliver replied

I didn't bother going upstairs to change, but I was in the backyard messing around with the sound system by the time Oliver joined me, already in his swim trunks. I turned music on low in the background, watching as Oliver hopped in the water. 

“Remember the first party I came to here and you said I was too much of a goody two shoes to do this?” I laughed as I peeled my shirt off, leaving me in my red lacy bra. 

“Yeah, you called me a caveman.” Oliver laughed 

“You still can be a caveman occasionally.” I retorted as I stepped out of my skirt. I rushed towards the pool, jumping in with a splash. When I emerged from the water, I was a lot closer to Oliver’s chest than I had expected to be. 

“Hi.” Oliver smirked

The urge to move closer, to wrap my arms around him, to kiss him, was unexpected.  _ It’s Oliver. You don't like Oliver like that.  _ I fought against my instincts and moved away. 

“What are you and Laurel fighting about?”  _ Yes, a good topic to squash any romantic thoughts.  _

“She thought I was flirting with a girl at a party. She overreacts.” Oliver shrugged 

I had come to realize over the past six months, every 

fight Oliver and Laurel had could be summarized into two words;  _ Laurel overreacts. _ If it had been anybody other than Laurel, I knew Oliver would have ended it months before. 

“Were you flirting with the girl?” I asked

“No. Not intentionally.” Oliver replied

“Not intentionally?” I laughed 

“Apparently the other girl thought I was flirting with her. I thought it was a simple conversation.” Oliver laughed 

“It’s easy to mistake you being polite with you flirting. It’s that damn grin you always have on your face.” The grin that I was speaking of spread across his face, “You’re charming without realizing it. It makes it incredibly difficult for women.” 

“Oh really?” Oliver laughed

“You have no idea how many times I’ve had to remind myself that you're not flirting with me. I’ve had to do it like seven times today alone.” I wanted to slap myself.  _ Way to go, Smoak. You almost made it through the day without an embarrassing ramble.  _

“Sorry, I didn't actually mean to say that out loud.” I was sure my cheeks matched my red bra in color by this point, “My rambling always make things awkward.”

“I find your ramblings endearing. You say what you think, more people should.” Oliver remarked

“Most people use other adjectives to describe it...irritating and obnoxious among others.” I laughed

“I think you’re bit of an acquired taste, Smoak.” Oliver remarked

I didn't even notice we had moved closer to each other until our shoulders were touching as we both leaned against wall of the pool; I wasn't even sure who had moved closer, maybe we both had.

“So I know I’ve said it already, but thank you for today. This was probably my favorite birthday ever.” I stated

“I’m glad you had fun.” Oliver wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to kiss the side of my temple.

When I looked up at him, the overwhelming urge to kiss him was back. My breath caught in my throat as I noticed him looking at my lips and then back up to my eyes.  

It all happened so fast; one of his hands suddenly curling round the back of my skull, fingers twined in my hair, while his other hand splayed out against my back, pulling me closer, while my fingers found their way to his hair. His mouth just brushing mine at first, then moving in again, deepening the kiss, grazing my lower lip with his teeth before tracing the same path with the tip of his tongue. 

Just as quickly as it started, the kiss ended abruptly, his hands moving to my waist to move me back, creating space between us.

“This is a bad idea.” Oliver shook his head, “You can do better than this, than me, Felicity.” 

He didn't give me time to respond, bolting out of the pool and into the house.

I tried ignore the feeling of rejection, because logically I knew he was right; it was a bad idea. He was Oliver. He had a girlfriend. He was a party boy. I didn't need to be just another girl on the list of girls who had fallen into Oliver’s bed. 

Shaking my head, trying to clear my head, I climbed out of the pool. 

 

Half an hour later, I was sitting on my bed, freshly showered and in my favorite grey sweats and a black sweatshirt, staring blankly at the TV; I had turned on the Law & Order rerun, but I wasn't really watching it. At some point during my shower, my thoughts had changed from ‘Oliver is right’ to ‘Oliver does not get to decide for me’.  _ If he doesn't want me, fine, just admit it. He doesn't get to make it sound like it’s for my sake. _

It was this sense of irritation that didn't fade for the next few hours that led me to knock on his door rapidly. It was after two, but I knew he wouldn't be asleep. 

“Felicity.” Oliver sighed as he cracked the door open, barely enough to see his face. 

“If don't want me, you should just admit it.” I pushed the door open further, stepping into his room, “You don't need to spare my feelings and make it sound like you’re doing it for me.” 

“It’s not you, Felicity.” Oliver sighed

“Are you seriously going to use the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing?” I asked

“But it  _ is  _ actually me. I’m not good for you.” Oliver stated

“Isn't that up to me?” I countered

Oliver didn't respond at first; I wasn't sure he was going to. 

“I don't want you to wake up in the morning and regret it. I don't want you to hate me.” Oliver admitted quietly. 

“I won't.” I promised, closing the gap between us, wrapping my arms around him. 

“Are you sure about this?” Oliver asked

My response was to kiss him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this, and I almost made this way more smutty, but I decided to save that for the main story later on ;)


	4. exactly what it looked like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short flashback of Tommy finding out about Oliver and Felicity.

“Oliver! You’re distracting me!” I giggled as I attempted to flip the pancakes I was cooking, a task made much more difficult by Oliver’s arms around my waist as he stood behind me, kissing my neck and shoulder.

“Who cares about food?” Oliver mumbled

“Well, it’s four o’clock in the afternoon and we haven't eaten, so I do.” I laughed

The sound from behind us jerked both our attention away from our previous tasks; Tommy was standing on the other side of the island, the sound had been him dropping his suitcase on to the ground. The look on his face was somewhere between disbelief and anger.

“What the _fuck_?” Tommy exclaimed

“Tommy! You aren't supposed to be home for two more days.” I remarked, shoving Oliver’s arms off my waist.

“Yeah, that’s the shocking thing happening right now.” Tommy deadpanned

“It’s…” I didn't actually know what to say; saying it’s not what it looks like would be an absolute lie. It was exactly what it looked like.

“Please for the love of god don't say it’s not what it looks like. You’re in his shirt, he had his arms around you, you were actually giggling. I’ve never even seen you do that before.” Tommy stated

“It just kind of happened.” Oliver exclaimed

“Yeah, okay. Try using that excuse when Laurel finds out.” Tommy snapped

I rushed around the counter, grabbing Tommy's wrist to pull him out of the room, out of earshot.  
  
“You can't tell Laurel. It would just hurt her. What happened was a stupid mistake. It’s not going to happen again.” I stated

“Really? Because I'm pretty sure it would have been happening again _right now_ if I hadn't just walked in on you.” Tommy snapped

“It was a mistake. I’m not going to do it again. I got caught up in the moment but I know it was wrong.” Part of that sentence was a lie; I had gotten ‘caught up in the moment’ at all, “Tommy, please. You can't tell Laurel. He loves her, we made a mistake, but I don't want to be the reason they break up. Please.”

Tommy sighed before mumbling ‘fine’ under his breath.

“I’m going to talk to Oliver. Alone.” Tommy stated

Tommy left the room, and while I considered eavesdropping, I decided against it, opting to go upstairs and change into my own clothes. I stared at myself in the mirror for a minute before changing; even if Tommy hadn't walked in on Oliver kissing my neck, he would have been able to tell by looking at me. I was wearing his grey button down, the top button of which was currently on the floor somewhere in Oliver's room because I accidentally pulled it off in my haste to get it off him the night before. My hair screamed bed head. I had a noticeable hickey on my neck, a fact I had been unaware of until I stood in front of the mirror.

I sighed, taking the shirt off and getting into my own  
.  
_It won't happen again_ , I promised myself _. It was a mistake_.


	5. the morning he had gotten on his father’s yacht

“Are you sure that you really want to go?” I asked Oliver as we laid in his bed, both undressed and a little out of breath.

“Relax, babe. It’s just a few weeks. I did invite you to come, by the way. Let’s not forget that.” Oliver replied

“We can’t all buy our way into another ivy school when we get kicked out, Ollie. I can’t miss weeks of classes. I’ll miss you though.” I stated, snuggling up to his side even though I knew Oliver Queen was a lot of things, and a snuggler was not one of them.  

“I’ll miss you too. But I’ve really gotta get going.” Oliver stated

“Can I drive you to the dock?” I asked

“Laurel’s going to be there.” He replied as he stood up, looking around for his some clothes.

“Oh. Right.” I tried not to sound disappointed, but his words were just another crushing reminder that I was his dirty little secret, not his girlfriend. Laurel was the woman he loved, the woman he would marry one day. I knew, and the world knew it. The rest of his flings were exactly that, flings. We didn’t mean anything.

"Okay. I'll see you in a few weeks." I mumbled, trying to mask the hurt in my voice.

"Yeah. See you then." Oliver leaned over and kissed me before bolting out the door. 

I dressed, pulling the pale blue sweater Oliver had been wearing earlier in the day over my head, and made my way down the hallway without encountering anybody. Not that it really mattered if anybody saw me, it was no big secret that Oliver cheated on his girlfriend frequently. Not to his family or staff, certainly. I was certain that Laurel was aware of it and chose to ignore it.


	6. The Queen's Gambit has been lost at sea.

It was one week after Oliver left that my new friends from my dorm forced me to go out, so I put on my favorite black dress on and pulled my black hair into a ponytail and used my fake ID to get into a bar I didn't even want to be at.

"Felicity! We're over here!" Caitlin, the girl from across the hall, shouted, waving me to a booth.

"Hey guys." I replied

Ray smiled, standing up to greet me.

"Hey, you look great." He remarked

"Thank you." I replied, sliding in the booth next to Caitlin.

"You want a drink?" Ray asked; he was the only one of us legally old enough to drink, yet he only had a water bottle in front of him.

"No, I'm good." I shook my head; getting drunk when I had to sit through a Chemistry lecture in the morning didn't seem like a brilliant plan.

"You guys are boring." Caitlin stated, taking a drink of what I assumed was a Tequila Sunrise, and probably not her first.

"It's Wednesday and I have a eight AM class that I would rather not be hungover for." I responded

"Whatever." Caitlin shrugged

"Yeah, you'll understand when you're sitting in class with a headache tomorrow." Ray laughed

"Whatever. I'm going to dance." Caitlin reported

Ray stood up to let her out of the booth, and Caitlin shimmied her way to the dance floor, disappearing into the crowd.

"How are your classes going?" Ray asked

"Fine, I guess." I replied

"You guess?" Ray asked

"Some of them are a little too easy." I shrugged 

"Why does that not surprise me?" Ray asked with a laugh

I could tell Ray was a genuinely nice guy, but I just wasn't interested when I could tell he was.

"Hey, you wanna play pool?" I asked

"Sure." Ray answered

I hopped up and headed over to the pool table.

"So, I'm really good at this so don't feel too bad when you lose." I stated, a grin on my face.

"We'll see about that." Ray retorted 

An hour later, we were in the middle of our third around, having each already won one each, when I somebody shouted at the bartender to turn the volume of the TV up, causing me to look up at the TV, seeing a photo of Oliver and Robert Queen. I dropped my cue and pushed the way through the crowd to hear what they were saying. 

"A representative for the Queen family has confirmed The Queen's Gambit, the yacht owned by Robert Queen, has been lost at sea." The woman on the screen kept talking but I couldn't focus. I couldn't breathe, the ground beneath me seemed to be swaying. 

"All search attempts have been unsuccessful."

I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths. No, this couldn't be happening. Things like this didn’t happen, especially not to the Queen family. 

"All on board, including Robert and Oliver Queen, are presumed dead." 

The tears started and I was gasping for air.

"Felicity?" Ray put his hand on my shoulder, "Are you okay?" 

I shook my head, pointing at the TV. Okay was the furthest thing from my mind. 

"Did you know them?" Ray asked

"Oliver...he's my...was my...friend." I managed to get out between gasps, close to full blown hyperventilation.

"Let's get you out of here." Ray wrapped an arm around me as he lead me out of the club.

I managed to tell Ray to take me to the Queen estate before completely breaking down in the passenger's seat of his sports car.

I tried to collect myself as we approached the house, not wanting to seem too much like a trainwreck if Laurel was there, as I assumed she would be. This wasn't the time for her to find out Oliver and I were more than friends.

"Thank you for driving me." I thanked him quietly

"Of course. If you need anything..." Ray replied 

"Thank you." I whispered before climbing out of the car. 

A security guard tried to stop me as I made my way up the pathway, but Oliver's best friend, sitting on the steps, informed him it was fine. 

"Let her by." I had never heard Tommy's voice so void of emotion. 

I sat down next to him, putting my hand on his knee. Tommy was my friend before I met Oliver and I knew that the devastation filling my body was nothing compared to what Tommy must have been feeling. Oliver was his best friend, practically his brother, the only person that who had been there for him his entire life.

"So this isn't just some bad dream." I said

I was hoping I was going to wake up from this nightmare, because this just couldn’t be real life.

"Afraid not." Tommy replied 

"Is Laurel inside?" I asked

Tommy sighed, laying back against the step.

"No. She...left. Sara was with him." Tommy informed me. 

"What?" I exclaimed 

_Sara_? He took Sara with him when I said no? I let Tommy’s words sink in as a new wave of heartbreak set in.

"Ollie snuck her on the yacht. She's gone too." Tommy’s voice sounded numb.

"Oh my god. Poor Laurel." I whispered

I knew Oliver cheated on Laurel, obviously, nobody knew that more than I did, but her little sister? That was new level of low.

"I can't believe this is happening." Tommy’s emotionless facade faded as he broke down, tears starting to roll down his face.

"Me either, Tommy." I agreed as Tommy wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Life's not going to be the same ever again." Tommy stated

"No, it's not." I agreed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to hit me up on atiredfangirl.tumblr.com, or on twitter @WithLove_HW, let me know what you think or just say hi, whatever :)


	7. It wasn't my place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Tommy's POV, and it takes place after Oliver leaves Felicity's office in chapter two of the main series :)

The doorbell woke me from my sleep; I glanced at the clock.  _ Well done, Merlyn, you slept until two...again. _ I climbed out of bed, heading for the door, finding my best friend waiting on the other side.

“Did I seriously wake you up?” Oliver asked

“Yes, you seriously did.” I mumbled, tossing myself down on the couch. I watched as Oliver paced the distance of my living room.

“Bro, not that you’re not always welcome here, but why the hell are you pacing in my living room?” I asked 

Oliver stopped, turning to look at me. 

“I just went and saw Felicity at work.” Oliver stated

I sighed, suddenly wishing I had made coffee, because I wasn't awake enough for this conversation.

“Why?” I asked

“I need help with a computer problem. That’s not the point. I'm just curious how in your many ‘what you missed’ conversations, you failed to mention that Felicity had a kid.” Oliver exclaimed 

I had known that the moment Oliver found out, I was going to get the blame for not telling him. 

“That’s not my story to tell.” I replied

Oliver shot me a glare.

“How old is she? The picture in her office, I’m guessing it was old, Felicity wasn't wearing her ring in it.” Oliver stated

“She’s four.” I replied, watching as Oliver started pacing again.

“When was she born?” Oliver asked

“April sixth.” I answered 

Oliver stopped suddenly, sinking down into the recliner.

“She’s mine.” Oliver stated

“Yes.” I nodded

“So you knew that I had a daughter and that wasn't the first thing you mentioned? No ‘Hey, welcome home, buddy, you have a child!’?” Oliver snapped

“It wasn't my place, Oliver. Felicity really hasn't told anybody. As far I know, it’s pretty much just me and Caitlin.” I remarked 

“Ray doesn't know?” Oliver asked

“Not that I’m aware of.” I replied 

Oliver sighed, sinking deeper into the chair. 

“Oliver, that little girl deserves the world, so whatever you’re thinking, if you decide to be a part of her life, you better be damn sure about it. If you hurt her...” I trailed off.

“She’s better off without me.” Oliver sighed

I shook my head, looking at my best friend. 

“We’ll agree to disagree on that.” I stated

“I’m not father material, Tommy.” Oliver remarked

“Why? Because of what happened on the island, whatever you did to survive? That doesn't make you a bad person. Because of before the island? You were a jerk, no doubt about that, but I still believe if you had been here and found out Felicity was pregnant, you would’ve been there, and you would be a good father, because if nothing else, you love and you put family above all else.” I exclaimed 

Oliver didn't respond.

“You know what, I can't tell you what to do. God knows I never could, no matter how many times I tried to tell you that the only way it was going to end back then was with Laurel and Felicity both heartbroken, and you losing them both. But just...be careful. Felicity's finally happy, and she was devastated for so long. Just, try not to show up like a wrecking ball to her life now.” I warned

“I don't want to wreck anything, Tommy.” Oliver sighed, “Don't you think I know that I’ve already caused her enough pain? I know that. I knew it then. Hell, I knew the day I met her that I was a bad influence and that she’d have been better off staying away from me.” 

“If she ever heard you say that, she’d probably slap you. Lexi’s her world, and she wouldn't have Lexi if she had never met you. She’ll be the first to tell you she doesn't regret a second of it.” I stated

“Well, don't worry. I’m not going to wreck anything for her.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think, and feel free to hit me up on atiredfangirl.tumblr.com, or on twitter @WithLove_HW, let me know what you think or just say hi, whatever :) I can always use more fandom peeps in my life :)


	8. a glimpse of a life

“God, I think I had forgotten what it felt like to go out for drinks and talk about things that don't relate to Palmer Tech or the wedding.” Felicity’s voice was exasperated.

Her fourth drink had officially pushed her from tipsy to drunk, and it was definitely apparent. She had been avoiding touchy topics, like Ray, or Laurel, for the last two hours; she had stuck to work, and telling me about Tommy during the last five years, and Lexi. 

“Don't get me wrong, I love Ray. I want to get married. But god, I hate weddings. I don't care about wedding dresses and oh, the flowers. Goth me hates it so much.” She sighed very dramatically, so dramatically I almost laughed. I tried to picture Felicity picking out flowers and trying on puffy wedding dresses and couldn’t hold back a chuckle; it wasn’t her. 

“ You know, you don't have to do those things to get married." I laughed

“Oh, but I do. It's expected. Especially when you're marrying Ray Palmer.” She shrugged; I knew what she meant; marriage within the Starling Elite meant big weddings. I thought of my mother, of how I knew she would take over, if I ever got married. She would go all out. 

“Does he make you happy?” I asked, unable to stop myself. 

“He does. He’s a great guy.” She looked down at the table as she spoke. 

"I sense a 'but...' coming." I didn’t want to push it, but I wanted to know; I had wrecked Felicity’s life for so long, I needed to know she was happy now, that Lexi was happy, and had somebody to be the father she deserved. It wasn’t me. It  _ couldn’t _ be me; it would be way too dangerous, and I couldn’t Lexi in harm’s way.  

"He's a great guy. I love him so much. But it's...it's not like with us." She looked ashamed, biting her lip as she watched me for a reaction. 

"We were not exactly a great couple. Or...a couple. So I imagine that’s probably for the best.” I remarked 

"I know. But I was crazy about you. I knew I shouldn't have been, I knew you didn’t love me. I knew we were going nowhere. I knew that it was wrong, that I shouldn't have been with you. But I would've done anything for you, and that meant throwing all my morals away and sleeping with somebody’s boyfriend." Felicity’s words caused the guilt to surge through me. It wasn’t all that unusual. I had felt the same guilt for years. Every time she’d ask me not to leave. Every time I left her and went back to Laurel’s side. Every time I’d see her watching me and Laurel. I had felt weeks ago when I kissed her in my bedroom, knowing very well she’d regret it later. Guilt was not a new emotion for me when it came to Felicity Smoak. 

Before the island, the only time I didn’t feel that guilt was, ironically, when I was with her. Because she had made it impossible to feel guilty; she had made it impossible to feel anything remotely negative. How could I hate myself when she was dancing around my room in my shirts, smiling, laughing. Her happiness was always contagious. 

“So yes, it’s not like it was with us, we were all passion, and wild drunken nights. I’m in stable, loving relationship, and I’m happy.” She smiled, looking down at her phone. 

“I’m happy for you, Felicity.” She deserved to be happy. 

“Thank you.” She paused, glancing up at the clock on the wall, “I should go.” 

She went for her keys, and I swiped them off the table before she could; she was in no shape to drive. 

“You’re drunk.” I stated 

“Thanks, Captain Obvious.” She rolled her eyes.

It was good to know some things never change. Drunk Felicity was obviously one of those things. 

“I’ll drive you home.” I’d have Diggle come pick me up from Felicity’s and bring me back for my car. It’d end with unwanted life advice, but it was still a better option than Tommy picking me up. I didn’t need his disapproval. 

Felicity shrugged, mumbling out an agreement. I walked closely behind her, ready to reach out and grab her if she lost her balance. 

“Are you okay?” I asked as we reached her little red Mini Cooper. 

"I'm not going to throw up on you, don't worry." Felicity stated

I opened the door for her, watching as she basically fell inside. She clearly didn’t have the same tolerance level she had in high school. 

She was dozing on and off the entire car ride, so when we arrived in front of her house in suburbs, I lifted her out of the car, carrying her up to the door. 

“Is Ray home?” I asked

“Business trip.” She mumbled, shaking her head into my chest. 

I managed to unlock the door and get her upstairs, carefully laying her down on the bed. Before I could pull away, she grabbed my shirt. 

“Did I ever say I'm glad you didn't die?” Her voice was sleepy. 

“Goodnight, Lis." I whispered, quickly kissing her forehead. 

I stepped backwards, watching as she fell asleep almost instantly. As quietly as I could, I closed her blinds, knowing very well the sun glaring in when hungover is never fun. I found her pain killers in the bathroom, setting two on the nightstand next to the bottle of water already sitting there. 

I went to go back downstairs, pausing to look at the photos on the walls of the hallway. They were all Lexi. Lexi at the beach, Lexi at the park, Lexi with Felicity, Lexi with Ray, and a surprising number of Lexi with Tommy, and occasionally Laurel. I wondered for a moment if Laurel had ever suspected that Lexi was mine. She undeniably had my eyes. I sighed, going down the stairs. 

I sat down on the couch with the intention of calling John, but found myself staring at the photo on the fireplace. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen the picture, it was on Tommy’s fridge. It was from their engagement announcement; Felicity and Ray holding a sign with ‘Save the Date’ written across it, while Lexi held up a sign with the actual date on it. I’d stood in front of the fridge so long the first time I saw it that I had memorized the announcement. 

_ We're (finally) getting married! _

_ Please save the date!  _

_ With love _

_ Felicity and Raymond (and Lexi!) _

I sighed, leaning my head back against the couch. 

_ Felicity Smoak, getting married.  _ It was surreal. 

I leaned forward, glancing at the photo album on the coffee table,  _ Lexi’s First Year and Book of Firsts _ . I picked it up, opening it to the first page, a picture of a tired Felicity, holding a newborn Lexi, wrapped up in a pink blanket. I glanced through the pages, it seemed Felicity had documented every moment of Lexi’s life. First Easter. First time she sat up. First Thanksgiving. First step. First Hanukkah. First word  _ Mama _ . Every thing about Lexi, in one book. 

I looked through the book several times, memorizing it. I had known for weeks that I had a daughter, but looking at the book of her life, it made it so much more real. It showed me how much I had missed, but it also showed me that Lexi was a happy, well adjusted kid; she didn’t need me showing up to screw it up. 

 

The sound of my phone beeping woke me up; I sat up and looked around the room. I definitely hadn’t meant to fall asleep on Felicity’s couch, but I glanced at the clock to see it was nearly eight in the morning. I picked Lexi’s baby book up, it has still been on my lap when I fell asleep, and set it on the coffee table. 

I made my way upstairs to check on Felicity, finding her still sound asleep. I decided to make breakfast before I woke her up. 

I was in the kitchen, mixing French Toast batter, when the door opened. I froze, waiting for Ray to look up from his phone. When he did, he stopped in his tracks. 

“Oliver, what the hell are you doing in my kitchen?” Ray asked

He didn’t give me a chance to answer before he bolted to the stairs. I sighed, wondering whether to follow or let Felicity handle it. I sat the bowl down, heading for the stairs. Ray was standing in the bedroom doorway, so I stayed at the top of the stairs.

"Fe-li-ci-ty." He dragged out her name the same way I did when I knew she was mad at me. Clearly Ray did it when he was mad. 

“Do you want to explain why Oliver Queen is making breakfast in our kitchen at eight in the morning?” Ray asked

“Ray, I'm sorry. Felicity had a little too much to drink last night and I didn't want to leave her alone so I slept on the couch.” I explained 

Ray didn’t bother to look in my direction.

I couldn’t hear her response, but Ray didn’t look happy with it. 

"Well, my mother is on her way with Lexi." Ray turned towards me, brushing past me on the stairs. 

I hesitated, tempted to just bolt for the door. 

“You might as well finish making breakfast. God knows she’s not going to want to cook herself something.” Ray remarked

_ Okay then.  _ Ray tried to make small talk, mostly about work. It was awkward,  _ so _ terribly awkward. 

Felicity emerged and my eyes went immediately to the familiar shirt she was wearing. I raised an eyebrow at her, and had Ray not been standing there, I would’ve asked why she still had my old shirt. I knew undoubtedly it was the same one, the top button had been missing for years. Well, since she accidentally tore it off while attempting to unbutton it.

Before anybody could say anything, the doorbell rang. 

"Mama! I missed you!" I froze at the sound of the little girl’s voice as she shouted. 

I was still frozen when Felicity appeared with Lexi on her hip, a glimpse of a life I could have had, if I hadn’t gotten on that damn yacht. Realistically, I knew Felicity and I probably would not have worked out, but I’d like to think we would have at least tried to be a family. 

"Alexandra, this is my friend, Oliver." I pushed the thoughts from my mind as Felicity introduced us.

I couldn’t help but mirror her grin as she stuck her hand out to shake mine.

“Alexandra Lisette Smoak, it's a pleasure to meet you.” Lexi announced 

I bent down to her level to shake her hand. 

“Oliver Jonas Queen, and it's a pleasure to meet you as well, Lexi. I've heard a lot about you.” I replied

She looked a lot like the pictures I’d seen of Felicity when she was young, although a little tanner, and her eyes were like looking at a mirror. 

“What’s for breakfast?” Lexi asked, standing on her tiptoes to see the stove. 

“French toast, it’s almost ready.” I replied, glancing up at Felicity. Ray had wrapped his arm around her waist, and I could tell by the way he was watching us that he had just figured it out. 

“Lexi, let’s go put your stuff in your room, then we can have breakfast.” Felicity stated 

Ray and I were alone again, and I had absolutely no idea what to say, so I opted to put the food on the table instead. 

“Dad, look what aunt Lottie gave me!” Lexi came tearing down the stairs, holding up her wrist to show Ray her bracelet. The charm of a bow and arrow caught my attention. Felicity had mentioned a kid’s movie Lexi liked had sparked an interest in archery. 

Felicity brushed her past me to get the coffee machine, pouring herself and Ray a cup as Lexi practically bounced over towards me; she was definitely an energetic little girl.

“It’s from Brave!” Lexi explained, showing her bracelet off to me.

“It’s very pretty.” I remarked, earning a grin before she rushed over the table to sit down to eat. 

“How was your school trip to the zoo yesterday, sweetie?” Felicity asked as I sat down in the only empty seat left at the table, next to Lexi.

“It was so awesome! We have to go soon! I want to go back soon!” Lexi announced before turning towards me, “Do you like the zoo?”

“I do. I used to take my little sister all the time. She loved watching the tigers.” I replied

“The tigers are pretty cool. They have a baby one that was only born a few weeks ago! It was so little and cute.” Lexi remarked 

“What was your favorite animal?” I asked

“I liked the pandas! It’s so funny watching them roll around. The monkeys are pretty awesome too. My friend Will liked the snakes. I don’t like the snakes. They are weird.” Lexi exclaimed 

I glanced at Felicity with a grin.  _ Definitely Felicity’s daughter, rambling on. _ Felicity was watching Lexi with a smile, while Ray had a blank expression on his face.

“Oh, I forgot about the butterflies! They were really pretty!” She turned towards her mom, “Mama, they had kangaroos!” 

“Did you like them?” Felicity asked

“I did!” Lexi turned back to me, “Mom doesn’t like kangaroos. I don’t get it.” 

“I know, she wouldn’t even go to Australia when all our friends did.” I replied 

“They’re weird looking, and ridiculously strong, and they’re everywhere over there.” Felicity sounded defensive. 

I shook my head, chuckling. 

Lexi jumped from topic to topic during breakfast, never slowing down. 

“Come on, baby girl. Let’s clear the table.” Ray stood up about half an hour later, which I took as my hint to leave.

“I should probably get going.” I stated as I stood up. 

Once I was outside, I remembered that I didn’t have my car. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, hitting John’s contact.

“So you are alive.” Diggle answered on the first ring.

“I am. And I need a ride.” I replied

“Where are you?” Diggle asked 

“Felicity Smoak’s house.” I knew this was going to bring a lecture on.

“Man, that’s not going to end well for either of you.” Diggle sighed 

“Spare me the lecture, Dig. I just had breakfast with my ex-girlfriend, her fiancé, and our daughter. I’m not really in the mood for it.” I snapped

“Whatever, man. I’ll be there to get you in a few minutes.” 

 


	9. You kept her from us

Felicity had asked me not to confront my mother on her account. I reluctantly agreed. But this wasn't going to be on her account. 

I stomped back up to the house after watching Felicity and Lexi drive away. My mother hadn't moved from the spot where she was standing before. Tommy hadn't moved either. I didn't care; it wouldn't be the first fight he’d witnessed in this house. 

“Go ahead. Yell. Say whatever you’re gonna say so we can move on from this.” My mother exclaimed 

“Move on from this? Move on from the fact you tried to pay Felicity off and when that didn't work, you moved on to blackmail?” I fumed 

“I was just trying to pro-” 

“Don't. Don’t say you were trying to protect me, or my image, or whatever bullshit you were about to say. You weren't protecting anything.” I snapped

“What about Laurel? How do you think she would have felt?” She replied

“We both know that you didn't do that for Laurel. You did that for the family legacy. God forbid the world know the truth, right? No scandalous children born out of an affair. Wouldn't want to taint the Queen name.” I snapped 

“Oliver, you were gone. What good could have come from the world knowing?” My mother asked

“Oh, I don't know…Maybe that Thea would have been able to know her niece? Maybe that Lexi would have had some of her family in her life? You could have known your grandchild. Maybe she wouldn't have grown up thinking that Ray Palmer is her father. But now? She has a father, grandparents, an aunt, and I have no idea how I’m supposed to fit in.” I sighed

“You knew?” Thea’s enraged voice our mother to spin towards her. 

“Thea, darling, when did you get here?” My mother asked

“Long enough ago to hear that you knew that Oliver had a daughter. You kept her from us. Why would you do that? Why? We could have had a piece of Ollie all those years. I could have had one shred of light and happiness in my life. But you took that opportunity from me.” Thea was on the verge of tears as she rushed over to me, burying her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, glaring at my mother still. 

“Sweetie, I-” Thea cut our mother off.

“No, don't even try to explain yourself. I don't care and I don't wanna hear it. Leave me, leave us, alone.” Thea snapped

“I...I’m sorry.” My mother stated before leaving the room. 

“Oh, god, I blamed Felicity. I snapped at her. I have to apologize to her. She could have thrown Moira under the bus and didn't.” Thea exclaimed 

“That’s not who Felicity is.” I replied

“It really isn't.” I had almost forgotten Tommy was there until he spoke. 

“I’m so mad at her, I don't even want to stay here right now.” Thea stated

“I know the feeling.” I sighed

“You guys are welcome to crash at my place for a couple nights, I’m...out most nights anyways.” Tommy remarked 

“You can say that you’re at Laurel's most nights, Tommy. I’m fine.” I replied 

“It’s weird. The sooner the both of you acknowledge that, the sooner you can get over the weirdness.” Thea laughed

Thea’s words reminded me of entirely different weirdness; Tommy and Felicity all afternoon.

“Go pack an overnight bag, Thea.” I suggested 

Thea hurried away, leaving Tommy and I alone.

“What was going on this afternoon with you and Felicity?” I asked 

“Nothing.” Tommy shrugged 

“You are a terrible liar.” I remarked 

“I said things she didn't want to hear. You won't want to hear them either.” Tommy stated 

I sighed. 

“What did you say to her?” I asked

I’m sure he thought I didn't notice him subtlety taking a few steps backwards, putting distance between us. 

“I just told her that this will likely not end well. For anybody.” Tommy replied

“I’m not going to wreck her relationship, Tommy.” I knew this was his main concern. 

“Maybe not intentionally. But...Felicity fell for you once, despite the fact you had a girlfriend and basically treated her like shit. How do you think it's gonna if you two start spending time together now? She loves Ray, but she was in love with you. She won’t able to ignore that. Even if she thinks there's no chance for the two of you, she’ll end it with Ray if she thinks that those feelings are coming back. And I was there before, watching Felicity hurt because you didn't feel the same way. It wasn't fun. It was ugly. You have no idea.” Tommy ranted 

I didn't know how to respond to that.

“You had no idea what you did to her. You would leave and run back to Laurel. I was the one who would sit next to her while she cried in bed because she loved you and you loved Laurel. I saw the aftermath of you and Felicity before. I don't want to see it again. I love you, you're practically my brother, but you are toxic for her. And now there's a child to worry about getting caught in the middle.” Tommy’s words stung. 

“You’re right. But I can't ignore the fact I have a daughter. I tried that. It was difficult. And now that I’ve met her? You can't say you wouldn't want to be a part of her life if you were in my shoes.” I sighed 

“Tommy, stop. He’s just trying to figure out how he’s supposed to handle this.” Thea appeared, duffle bag in hand, “He’s not going to hurt her, right? Because I’ll personally kick his ass if he does. Also, Felicity's step father would probably shoot him.”

Tommy laughed. Hysterically.

“Oh my god. Lance is going to murder you when he finds out. I mean, it was bad enough everything that happened with Laurel and Sara, but knowing you got Felicity pregnant? He’s going to kill you. And she’s right, he adores Lexi, and he’d definitely shoot you if you hurt her.” Tommy was still laughing. 

“Oh, and how’s Laurel going to react when she finds out her new boyfriend knew that her old boyfriend was sleeping with another girl and got her pregnant? You had her help you keep Lexi that weekend you volunteered to babysit while Ray and Felicity went out of town. You literally played house with her and her ex-boyfriend’s love child.” Thea remarked

I watched the color drain from Tommy’s face as Thea spoke. 

“Hadn't thought of that, had you?” Thea asked before turning to me, “Now, can we get out of this house?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think, and feel free to hit me up on atiredfangirl.tumblr.com, or on twitter @WithLove_HW, let me know what you think or just say hi, whatever :) I can always use more fandom peeps in my life :)


	10. Well, that went well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little scene of Laurel confronting Oliver about him and Felicity.

I knew when the banging on the door began that it was Laurel. It had to be. I glanced up from the paperwork I had barely been reading to see Tommy moving towards the door.

“Where is he? I know he’s here.”

I glanced towards the door to the foundry, considering making a run for it, but that would just raised questions from Tommy and delay the inevitable.

“Laurel, wait.” Tommy pleaded

“Don't think I'm not pissed at you, but we can discuss that later.” Laurel snapped as she rounded the corner, stepping into view.

“Laurel.” I greeted

“A year and a half.” Laurel stated

“For what it's worth, and I know it’s not worth much now, I am sorry.” I sighed

“You cheated on me for most of our relationship. You were busy knocking Felicity up while I was looking at apartments for us. You lied to me every day for a year and a half, so no, your apology doesn't mean much to me.” Laurel snapped

“It’s all I can do now.” I replied

I saw it coming, I could have easily dodged her punch, but I didn't move. Her fist colliding with my jaw didn't hurt much.

“Did you ever love me? Or her? Or any of us? Don't answer that.” Laurel shook her head, “I already know the answer. No. You didn't. You loved yourself. You were incapable of loving anybody else.”

Her words hurt because I knew they were true. They hurt than her fist ever could.

“Laurel…” Tommy sighed

“And you!” Laurel spun towards Tommy, “You lied to me for years. I get not telling me Ollie was cheating on me, your friendship with him always came first, whatever, but all the years we thought he was dead? You lied over and over. I planned Felicity’s shower. I threw a baby shower for my boyfriend’s side girl. You let me. Even when we became more than friends, your loyalty to Oliver was still more important.”

Tommy looked like he had been slapped.

“I didn't want to make it worse.” Tommy stated

“Don't make it sound like you did this for me. He always came first, always will. I’m not even in second place. Felicity and Thea are above me.” Laurel snapped

“Can we talk about this later? Alone?” Tommy glanced in my direction.

“Why? What difference does it make? You’re just going to end up telling Oliver everything later.” Laurel stated

“Laurel, I’m sorry. I know I should have told you a long time ago.” Tommy sighed

Laurel stormed off, Tommy chasing after her. I watched them bicker outside the door of the club for a second until they disappeared from view.

I sighed, grabbing the bottle of vodka from behind the counter to pour myself a glass.  
  
“Well, that went well.” Tommy deadpanned once he re-entered the club.

“Sorry, bro. I knew she’d be pissed at me, but I didn't realize how mad she’d get at you.” I had known she’s be mad at Tommy, sure, but that level of anger I had seen in her eyes wasn't expected. “She seemed madder at you than me.”

“Because she is,” Tommy sighed, leaning against the bar, “She expects you to lie to her. Finding out you cheated on her and got another girl pregnant? It kind of pales in comparison to finding out Sara. I don't think anything could shock her at this point. I think she expects better of me.”

“Yes, but she’ll forgive you. Me, on the other hand, I’m not too sure. This might be the last straw.” I sighed

“Mr. Queen, you told me to remind you about your appointment with Mr. Claybourne.” I had heard him coming in the room, but Tommy was visibly surprised by Diggle’s voice.

“Right.” I stood up, “I’ll see you later, dude.”

“Okay. I still think your bodyguard is a ninja or something. I never hear him coming.” Tommy laughed


	11. a little unfinished business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little scene from Oliver’s point of view after he left Felicity to hack, aka rewritting the scene from the show.

“Do you have eyes on her, Dig?” I asked after I left Felicity to do her hacking.

“Yeah, you’re in the clear.” Diggle replied

I found the office with _Thomas Merlyn_ on the door. The door was open and I saw Tommy standing by the floor to ceiling window at the city with his back to me.

“Sure beats the back of a bar.” I remarked

“I saw your name in my schedule. I thought it must be a typo.” Tommy turned towards me; for the first time in our lives, I could see the resemblance between him and his father. His suit, his office, the cold expression on his face, everything Malcolm Merlyn wanted his son to become, it was all happening.

“I thought it was past time we talked.” I stated

“About what? Me leaving the club, you being a serial killer? We're not lacking for topics.” Tommy snapped

“Let's start with Laurel.” If the expression on his face had been cold before, it was icy now.

“What about her?” Tommy asked

“You love her, Tommy. Why are you pushing her away?” I asked

“You’re one to talk.” Tommy replied

“We are not in the same situation.” I stated

“Don’t try to tell me you don’t want to be with Felicity.” Tommy exclaimed

“Whether I do or not has nothing to do with Laurel and you.” I sighed

“I’m not going to be the one Laurel settles for. You and I both know if she knew the truth, she would choose you.” Tommy leaned against his desk; his cold expression faded into hurt.

“She chose you! She’s not the one that isn’t sure. She loves you. You’re the one that is causing your problems. It’s not me, it’s not her. Lord knows I am guilty of a lot of things between us but not you and her.” I snapped

“Is that all?” Tommy asked

“That's all I came to say.” I turned towards the door, “What exactly do you do here?”

“I work closely with my father. Please go.” Tommy stated

“Guys, you got trouble.” Diggle stated

“What?” I asked once I was outside Tommy’s office.

“Felicity's about to have some company.” Diggle exclaimed

“I'm not there yet on the download.” Felicity sounded panicked.

“Hold tight. I am on my way.” I replied

“Oliver.” I had never wanted to see Malcolm less than in that moment.

“Mr. Merlyn.” I plastered on the fake smile.

“I must say, I'm surprised to see you here.” Malcolm stated  
  
“Tommy and I just had a little unfinished business.” I replied

“Ah. Things have been challenging, but I trust you're working things out.” Malcolm remarked  
  
“Yes. I'm sorry, I have to go. There are investors waiting for me at my club.” I lied

“I'm heading out to a meeting myself. I'll walk you down to the lobby.” _Shit_.

“She's gonna get made, Oliver.” Diggle exclaimed, “Oliver, she's in trouble.”


	12. There isn’t exactly a guide on this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a few weeks after the Undertaking

“Oliver!” Lexi was excited to see Oliver standing next to me at the gate when the bell rang.

“Hello to you too.” I laughed as she ran straight to Oliver.

“Hi mama.” Lexi grinned at me. “Are we going to your house, Oliver?”

“Not today.” Oliver replied

“We’re going to hang out at home, Oliver’s coming. And dad’s going to be there too.” I stated

“Awesome!” Lexi practically bounced towards Oliver’s car. Oliver belted her into her car seat, waiting til the door was closed to speak.

“Are you sure you’re ready to tell her?” Oliver asked

“It’s not going to get any less complicated so we might as well. She deserves to know.” I replied before we both climbed in the car.

  
My stomach was in knots. It had been all day. I sat, watching Ray, Oliver, and Lexi all eating pizza, unable to stomach the thought of taking a bite. We had discussed how to tell Lexi for weeks, and I still wasn’t sure how to get the words out. _Maybe we should have consulted a therapist._ I quickly dismissed the thought. _We can handle this._

“Mama, you aren’t eating.” Lexi snapped me out of my thoughts.

“I’m not hungry, sweetie.” I smiled

Oliver and Ray were both watching me. I ignored it. After everybody was finished eating, Lexi was helping Oliver with the dishes, leaving me and Ray sitting across from each other in the cushy reclining chairs.

“You sure about this?” Ray asked

“It’s the right thing to do...I just don’t know how to do it.” I sighed

“There isn’t exactly a guide on this.” Ray replied

“I know. I checked.” It wasn’t exactly my style to wing it.

“Oliver said to come in here?” Lexi sounded confused.

“Come sit down, sweetheart.” I smiled, motioning towards the couch.

“Is everything okay?” Lexi asked

“Yeah, everything is fine, we just want to talk to you.” Ray replied

Lexi sat down and looked back and forth between us expectantly. I saw Oliver watching us from the kitchen, but he stayed back. We had agreed it’d be best for me and Ray to explain things to her first.

“Alexandra, you know how much I love you, right?” Ray asked

“Of course, daddy.” Lexi replied

“Nothing will ever, ever change that.” Ray promised

“We both love you so much.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. “You know how Thea calls Walter ‘Dad’ but he isn’t her real father?”

“Yeah,” Lexi nodded, “Like Ellie’s parents aren’t her real parents. She was adopted.”

“Right.” I moved to sit next to her on the couch, “Alexandra, sweetheart, Ray, he isn’t your real father.”

“But just like Walter loves Thea, and Ellie’s parents love her, I love you.” Ray moved to the other side of her on the couch.

Lexi just looked confused.

“Thea’s real daddy died. Ellie’s parents died. So did my dad die too?” Lexi frowned, her brow wrinkled in confusion.

“Before you were born, Lexi, your real father was in an accident. We thought he was gone. But a few months ago, we found out he was okay.” I explained

Lexi looked back and forth between us.

“It doesn’t change how much I love you, Lexi. I’m always going to be your dad.” Ray leaned down, kissing the top of her head.

“Oliver.” That had not been what I expected Lexi to say. “Was my dad in an accident like Oliver’s dad?”

_My smart, beautiful girl._

“Actually, baby girl, Oliver is your father.” I replied

Lexi stood up on the couch, peeking over the back to look at Oliver.

“You’re my dad?” Lexi asked

“I am.” Oliver replied

Oliver walked over and sat in the seat I had moved out of.

“Can you I still call you daddy?” Lexi looked up at Ray.

“Of course, baby girl.” Ray replied

“So I have two dads now?” Lexi asked

“You have two dads who love you very much, and me.” I replied, kissing her head.

“Can I call you daddy too?” Lexi asked Oliver.

“You can call me daddy, dad, or whatever you want, sweetheart.” Oliver grinned at Lexi.

“So Thea is my aunt?” Lexi asked

“Yes, she is.” I replied

“Can I call her Aunt Thea like I do Aunt Laurel?” Lexi asked

“I think that would make Thea happier than anything in the world.” Oliver chuckled

Lexi hopped off the couch, rushing over to hug Oliver; I smiled at the sight of how happy they both look. Once Lexi let go of Oliver, she hugged Ray. For the first time all day, I felt myself relax.

  
I felt lighter, like there was a weight lifted from my chest, later that night. Lexi was soundly sleeping in her bed. Oliver and Ray had both left after we all watched Brave together, and I had my phone wedged between my shoulder and my ear while I ate Ben & Jerry’s from the pint.

“Yeah, she took it really well.” I informed my mother.

“She’s such a mature little girl.” My mother replied

“She is. I’m so relieved. I’ve been so worried about this for so long.” I sighed

“I know you have, dear.” My mother chuckled, “I’m glad it all worked out. How are you and Oliver doing?”

“We’re good, really good.” I glanced at the clock; _he should be here any minute_. “I never imagined we’d be here.”

“I’m happy that you’re happy.” My mother remarked

The was a soft knock on the door, announcing Oliver’s arrival.

“Oliver’s here,” I hopped off the counter, “I’ll call you in the morning.”

“Lexi doesn’t know about you two yet, does she?” My mother asked

“One step at a time, mom.” I laughed, “I’ll call you in the morning.”

I hung up the phone as I reached the door, pulling it open with a grin. Oliver was in the doorway, a bottle of wine in his hand, a smile on his face.

“Hi.” Oliver grinned

“Hi.” I repeated, letting him inside. He followed behind me to the kitchen.

“Ice cream, huh?” Oliver asked

“Want some?” I held the spoon up, offering him a bite; he accepted it with a grin.

“The island taught me a lot. Especially to enjoy the little things, like ice cream.” Oliver leaned down to kiss me, “Especially with a beautiful woman.”

“I love you.” I mumbled against his lips.

“I love you too.” Oliver pressed his forehead against mine. “Today went better than I expected.”  
  
“I’m so glad. I’m glad she knows.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, “Why don’t we crack that wine and celebrate?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Oliver kissed me again quickly.

“Or, I was going to suggest another plan, we can save this for later, and go in the other room.” I smirked, nodding towards the bedroom.

“I like that plan.” Oliver offered me a hand to help me hop of the counter; he wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my shoulder as we stumbled towards the bedroom. We paused outside Lexi’s open bedroom door, peeking in at her sleeping in her bed.

“I still can’t believe we made such a beautiful, intelligent little girl.” I whispered

“She’s amazing, just like her mom.” Oliver replied

“Her father is pretty amazing, too.”


	13. a chance to explain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a few months after the Undertaking. This was based on a suggestion by a reader :)

Oliver’s phone rang. _Again_. We were twenty minutes into our movie, this was the fifth time.

“Oliver, maybe it’s important.” I sighed

“I’m sure that it’s not.” Oliver replied, pressing the ignore button, then powering it off.

I dropped the topic, not wanting to argue over it.

“I’m going to make some popcorn. Either of you want anything?” I asked

Oliver and Lexi shook their head unison. I made my way into kitchen, putting the popcorn in the microwave. I nearly jumped when the house phone rang; nobody ever called on the landline. I went into the bedroom to answer it, not wanting to disrupt the movie.

“Hello?” I answered

“You have a collect call from an inmate at Iron Heights Prison.” I sighed. “This call may be recorded or monitored. If you wish to accept this call, press three.”

I pressed the three button and waited for the line to connect.

“Hello?” Moira’s voice was softer than I had ever heard it.

“Hello, Moira.” I tried to sound pleasant.

“Felicity?” She sounded surprised.

“Yes.” I replied, sitting down on the king size bed.

“I didn’t realize you and my son were living together.” Moira stated

“We are. He doesn’t want to speak to you, Moira.” I sighed

“Yes, I have gathered that much. It doesn’t mean I’m going to give up.” Moira stated

“I wouldn’t expect you to. For all your many flaws, I know you love your children.” I remarked

“I do.” Moira sighed, “I know I have no right to ask this of you, but would you please try to tell my son to speak to me? For a few minutes, at least...I just want a chance to explain...everything.”

 _Why should I?_ I held my words back.

“I don’t know if you realize this, but your son is a very stubborn man. I don’t think I can convince him to do anything he doesn’t want to.” I remarked

“Yes, I realize he is very stubborn, but if anybody can, I believe it would be you.” Moira stated

“I will try. Don’t hold your breath.” I sighed

“Thank you, Felicity.” Moira paused, “I won’t keep you, I know you don’t want to speak to me.” Another pause. “And I am sorry, Felicity.”

I sighed as I hung up; _I don’t know why she thinks I can convince him of anything._

“You okay?” Oliver stuck his head in the room a few minutes after I ended the call.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I replied

“Lexi crashed on the couch. I’m going to move her to her bed. I don’t care about finishing that cartoon, do you?” Oliver asked

“No.” I laughed

Oliver disappeared from my sight, and I wondered about how I should bring up his mother. She was a touchy topic.

“She’s out like a light.” Oliver stated as he laid down on the bed.

“She woke up really early.” I mumbled

“Okay, seriously, what’s up?” Oliver asked

“Your mother called the house phone. I answered it.” I replied

“Why?” Oliver asked

“I don’t know. I just...she’s your mom, Oliver.” I sighed

“Yeah, I know. She’s also a terrible human being.” Oliver remarked

“Look, you know I don’t like the woman. God knows I don’t. But she wants to talk to you. If you hear her out and you still don’t want to talk to her afterwards, great. I’m totally with you. We’ll even change our phone numbers if you want.” I stated

“Fine. I’m not doing it over the phone. I’ll go out and visit her. I’ll hear her out.” Oliver sighed

“Okay.” I crawled up to lay next to him on the bed.

“We’ll go in the morning.” Oliver stated

“We?” I shot straight up. “What?”

“She needs to answer a lot of questions, including why she treated you like she did for all those years.” Oliver stated

“Oliver, she clearly hated me. I don’t need answers beyond that.” I sighed

“I do. And I think you kind of want some too, because we both know it wasn’t that simple.” Oliver pulled me closer to him. “And I want you to come with me.”

“Fine, I’ll go.” I sighed

 

“Relax, Felicity.” Oliver mumbled as we stood in Iron Heights, sending our personal items through the X-Ray scan.

“I’m not nervous.” I lied

“If she doesn’t behave, we’re gone. Don’t worry.” Oliver sighed

“This way, Mr. Queen, Miss Smoak.” The man ushered us towards a visiting room. “She’ll be out in a few minutes.”

We sat down at one of the tables, shoulder to shoulder. I laced my fingers through his.

“Oliver, dear.” Moira’s voice made me tense before I even saw her.

“Mother.” Oliver stood up to give his mother an awkward, stiff hug.

“Felicity, what a surprise.” Moira greeted me.

“Moira.” I nodded in greeting.

“How’s Alexandra?” Moira asked

“She’s great, not that you care.” Oliver snapped

“Oliver.” I sighed, touching his arm.

“Please, Oliver.” Moira sighed, “I know I’m not Mother of the Year, but please just sit down.”

“That’s a minor understatement.” Oliver mumbled as he sat back down.

“Everything I’ve done is to protect you and your sister.” Moira stated

“More than five hundred people are dead.” Oliver snapped

“And I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.” Moira stated

_I don’t want to be here._

“Yeah, while sitting in a jail cell.” Oliver sighed

“I’ve accepted that I will be here for the rest of my life. I’m okay with that. I’m not okay with you hating me for the rest of my life.” Moira sighed

“I don’t see how you expect me to ignore everything you have done, mother.” Oliver remarked

“Malcolm Merlyn would have killed you and Thea. He killed your father.” Moira snapped

“The Undertaking isn’t the only thing you’ve done that I can’t forgive.” Oliver grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently.

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry, to both of you. I really thought I was doing what was best.” Moira sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“Why? Why would treat Felicity like that? Why would you keep Thea away from her niece?” Oliver asked

“At the time I thought it was for the best.” Moira paused, glancing at me, “It wasn’t personal, Felicity. It wasn’t you.”

“It felt personal.” I mumbled

“It wasn’t.” Moira sighed, “I didn’t want Laurel to know, I didn’t think she could have handled it. You know she was already barely hanging on.”

 _True_. I stayed silent.

“Honestly, I knew Alexandra would be fine. When you essentially told me to go to hell, I knew what kind of person you were. I knew you were a woman that was strong and had a sense of integrity. I knew you would take care of her, protect her. I knew you wouldn’t be bullied or bribed. I thought she would be better of.” Moira sighed, “If Malcolm had known, it would have just put both of you in the line of fire. She was safer.”

I didn't know how to respond to that. Oliver didn't seem to know what to say either.

“I’ve done a lot of terrible things, but I have done it to protect my family.” Moira stated

“Mom…” Oliver sighed, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here.”

“You don’t have to say anything, dear. I just needed you to know.” Moira grabbed his hand from across the table, “I can handle a lot of things, but my children hating me is not one of them.”

“I don’t hate you.” Oliver stated

“I should give you two a minute.” _I need a minute._ “I’ll be right out front.”

“You can stay.” Oliver grabbed my hand.

“It’s fine, Oliver.” I smiled, kissing his cheek before standing up.

I didn’t leave the building, I just leaned against the wall outside the visiting room, processing. All the years I feared Moira and hated her, she was trying to protect Lexi. I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. I went to grab my phone from my pocket before remembering I had to check it at the front desk. I groaned, sitting down on the bench near by, picking up one of the magazines.

“Felicity?” Oliver emerged about fifteen minutes later.

“Ready?” I asked

“Not exactly…” Oliver hesitated, “She wants to talk to you. Without me. You don’t have to.”

_What could she possibly want to talk to me about?_

“Okay. It’s fine.” I replied

I went back inside the visiting room, finding Moira waiting for me.

“You wanted to talk to me?” I asked

“Yes, dear. Thank you for agreeing.” Moira smiled

“I have to admit that I’m confused.” I laughed awkwardly

“I want to apologize again. I can only imagine what you’ve thought of me.” Moira remarked

“Moira...It’s okay. I understand. You were protecting your family. I know what extremes I would go to protect Lexi.” I stated

“Felicity, the reason I wanted to see you is that while I’ve accepted my fate, Oliver and Thea, they...need somebody. I know you love Oliver, and it’s my hope that you will be there for both of them.” Moira remarked

“I’m not sure what you mean, Moira.” I replied

“Thea doesn’t cope well, she needs somebody to keep an eye on her, and while Oliver means well, he just overreacts and it just makes it worse.” Moira stated

“So I’ve noticed. He’s a very protective man.” I remarked

“He is. Thea and Oliver usually need a third party mediator.” Moira laughed

“I adore Thea. Of course I’ll always do my best to look out for her.” I promised

“I can see that Oliver has come a long way in the last year. I’m sure that’s in no small part thanks to you.” Moira smiled, “I’m so happy he has you and Lexi. I think you're good for him.”

“I...don't know what to say. But I promise that I’ll always be there for Oliver and Thea. You don't have to worry about them, Moira. They’re both strong, they’ll be okay.” I promised

“Thank you, Felicity. And thank you for convincing Oliver to come here.” Moira stated

“I think he needed this as much as you did. He just doesn't always see things too clearly.” I admitted

“Another reason it's good he has you.” Moira smiled

“Queen, time’s up.” The guard announced

“Thank you for coming, Felicity.” Moira stated

“I’ll do my best to convince him to come back soon.” I stood up from the metal bench. I found Oliver pacing when I exited the room. “Have you been pacing this whole time?”

“Maybe. What did she want?” Oliver asked

“It was a mother to mother thing.” I replied

“What does that even mean?” Oliver asked

“If she wanted you present for the conversation, she wouldn't have asked to talk to me alone.” I laughed, “But it wasn't anything to worry about, I promise. Now, let's go pick up our daughter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm probably going to re-arrange the chapters in this to be in chronological order, and I'll put titles on all them. It might be a bit messy for a bit, but I won't be starting for a few days. I've got a lot going on.


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